So, it’s spring. Which is good. Except I’m in Arizona and we don’t see much difference outside of some flowers and cactus and other plants in bloom. But the weather is about the same and we get sort of rude about how lovely the weather is in regards to it snowing its ass off on the East coast. We’re the worst.

I did not make it to the gym again last week and I will not make it this week. Last week I was far too sore, I was giving rides to and fro work to a coworker friend with car issues, and I just plain ran out of time and steam. This week I am way involved in a spring cleaning project I started over the weekend and have plans in the evenings and wow, when did I get so busy?

So, the spring cleaning. It was totally brought on by an impending visit by a friend. However, I’ve had friends come to visit and all I did was a regular cleaning and life was fine. So it’s not totally due to her and her fam. I just, somehow, when I started doing the usual cleaning got all deep with it. And it’s a mess. Because I’m sort of kind of a low level hoarder. I have to accept this now. It’s fine. I’m cleaning rooms and closets and dumping shit into the office room off of my bedroom for the final push of de-hoarding and it’ll all be grand!

Right now, minus the closet, my computer room is done and it’s looks awesome. I decluttered the bookshelf, I am utilizing one of the built in wall shelves, my computer desk is, mostly, cleared off but I still have to do finances so I can only clear off so much at the moment, and my file cabinet does not have a large stack of paper waiting to be filed. Did I file it, you ask? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You are so funny. No. I found a box and put it all in a box and that box is now in the previously mentioned dumping room. Oops. It’s fine. Also, the closet in that room isn’t too bad. I just have to pull out old computer equipment and dump it into the dumping ground to be added to the yard sale stacks. So I’m calling this room done.

The guest room is the same. All clean and good except for the closet. This closet holds all of my old props from my self portrait fun times. That ended 10 years ago. These should be dumped into the dumping ground and they will as soon as I’m done with the other cleaning what the eye can actually see stuff. So this room is considered done, too.

I’ve made a list of the rooms and the things that need to be done this morning and it made it all seem so much less over-whelming. Even though the list is longer than I thought it would be. It won’t be over-whelming, really, until I go to tackle the dumping ground. But then? My life should be de-cluttered and then I should only have to do the regular cleaning that other people do in their lives. Whew!

This morning I finished dusting the dining room and I’ll just do one final vacuum in there when I do the final vacuum of the whole front area of the house. The living room, kitchen, dining room areas.

All that leaves is the kitchen, the living room, and the hallway bathroom. My bedroom and the dumping ground will be tackled last and not at all before this weekend because whoa!

I’m also re-cleaning my diet but that’s gonna be blown this weekend and you know what? I care not. I’m happy and so there.

I hiked Saturday, I got almost all of my steps in Sunday and Monday, and I’m doing all sorts of moving and lifting at the house so I’m not worried too much about my activity level.

And that, my friends, is where we are today.


Square One-ish

Today is official weigh-in day. I am still, somehow, in first place out of the two of us BUT I went up and now I’m only down a total of 0.1. HAHAHAHAHA!

My carb and sugar fest has caught up with me and I totally know what I need to do to move forward and I shall. This is not a problem.

I am SO SORE. Sitting down hurts. Especially when having to sit down to pee. Toilets are so low, you guys. Ouch. But I packed my gym bag and gymming will happen again today. I may just, you know, not work my legs so I can hike Saturday morning as planned.

In other news, remember when I said I used a new product on my face and dried it the fuck out and I was so sad? Well, I did some research into the two products that I used and discovered other people had the same issue with the moisturizer, so I stopped using it. It was CeraVe AM Facial Moisturizer with 30 SPF. My usual facial moisturizer only has 15 SPF so I was trying to give my face more protection but by doing so I dried it way out after only two uses! So, no more of that. And my face has finally returned to it’s soft and smooth self. I also added Garnier Micellar Cleansing Water to my routine and holy fuck is that shit magical. I feel like my face is even softer and smoother and looks more even and glowy. But that could just be all in my head. Which is fine. If I think I look better it helps with my confidence and that reflects in my posture and my face and my all of it so I likely wind up actually looking better. It’s a win! I will say that all of my fine lines are still there and that’s fine. I don’t believe that any products can actually get rid of them and they are all selling you a lie. That’s what I think. I think you can look brighter and shinier and happier using some of these products but none of them are gonna do magic, you know? Let’s just all get happy with aging, ok? Stop calling them crows feet…that’s an ugly term and of course you’re gonna hate it. They are laugh/smile lines! That’s how they form! That’s years and years of laughter and smiling on my face!

I also finally cut my hair and it looks SO MUCH BETTER. Which is, I believe, also helping my face. My hair is healthier and softer and not so scraggly and it’s all better. Yay, haircut!

To recap, the carb and sugar bonanza is gonna end and my evening walks are going to get back to the serious phase and away from the “some walk is better than no walk!” slack fest.

And that’s the news as I know it.

I Need a Foam Finger

I’m still #1 in the weight loss challenge. I went down just a weeeee bit this past week to put me at 3.2 total pounds lost. I’m surprised, to be honest. I’ve been on a carb-fest and not doing my evening walks and my period should arrive at crap o’clock tomorrow so I’m likely even bloated sooooo, it’s possible once that is all gone and I don’t go full bore nuts with eating I’ll see a nice drop next week! Yay! And if I maintain this rate I should, hopefully, get to 11 pounds lost by the end. I can do this!

So, as I mentioned I’ve not been doing my evening walks. But I’ve also not just been going home and plopping on the couch, either. I’ve run some errands, straightened up piles in the house, cooked, and cleaned the kitchen a bit and that’s not really allowed for much more than, maybe, an hour of sitting in the evening. Which is great. But it doesn’t get me to my 10k steps goal, either.

Yesterday I had reached peak irritation and it’s amazing to me how my boyfriend and my friend, Randi, just know me so well, you guys. Usually my boyfriend knows just in how I answer the phone that something is wrong and Randi just picks up tone in my IMs! It’s amazing. So, she picked up my mood and then allowed me to unload on her for an hour and then I felt better and then I realized last night “Yes, this thing is bothering me for sure but….PMS enhanced it.”  PMS is a bad mood enhancer, you guys. Then I open Facebook this morning and see a Woman’s Day post that just feels like a nice “fuck you” to me and I want to lash out but I will not. It is not about me. It is about the person that wrote it and I can rise above.

I sure do get tired of rising above, though.

Saturday was the charity hike and it was the longest hike I’ve done since being sick and I did great without any training and that made me feel good. Like, I can tell I’m not in peak shape but I’m no where near ground zero shape, either, Woo! I now have a really big hike planned for May and I’m looking forward to that and I need to get in shape for it. A goal!! A GOAL!!

During the hike, however, I found myself a bit back from my friends and it was nice and quiet and I was just taking in my surroundings and I suddenly felt this calmness take over my body. Like, I literally felt it flow down from my head to my toes. Calm and happiness. It’s like a nice warm feeling, cozy and relaxing. In that moment I knew without question how great my life is and how happy I am. Everything is not perfect, of course, but my life is rad anyway. I have friends that love me and are just amazing and supportive. I have a great boyfriend that does all of these tiny, quiet little things to show me love. My Mom and Dad are supportive of me to the end. I’m in the right place, right state. I have hiking. I have my life and I love it.

My food this week, for those that want to know:

Breakfast has been egg muffins with roasted red peppers and chorizo with a bit of creme fraiche. DELICIOUS! Also my usual one cup of coffee with the Natural Bliss creamer.

Lunch has been fried chicken meatballs (paleo) and a bit of pesto orzo. I’m on a pesto kick. I want to pesto all the things.

Dinner Monday was a bit of steak as I cooked and a few meatballs to make sure they tasted ok. Dinner Tuesday was, not proudly but deliciously, a large bowl of Breyer’s Reese’s ice cream and a quarter of a steak. Dinner last night was creamy cajun pasta with Andouille sausage. It must have been real good because the boyfriend had three servings! I know I sure liked it.

Over the weekend I used my hike as an excuse to eat a corn dog AND a hot dog on Saturday and then I had crab alfredo on Sunday so, yeah, being down in weight is amazing. But I’m keeping my lunch time walks going so I’m sure that helps as does the not sitting all evening despite not walking.

I’m doing the right things, I know it. I feel good about it. I just need to get back out there in the evenings and walk it off. It’ll help the mood and help the scale and help with my training for the big hike!

This weekend I have a Blue Apron box coming so that will be lunches and dinners for next week. One has pasta. It’s fine.

On an unrelated to diet and hiking and me note….I have to take my wee girl dog that I love too much to an ophthalmologist this weekend to find out what the cloudy areas on her eyes are and what the future may hold for her. Going blind is not the worst thing in the world, of course, but she is my little hiker and I love seeing her stand on large rocks to survey her desert kingdom and it’ll be sad if she loses that. So, good thoughts for us that it’s something we can slow the progression of, or isn’t a big deal at all and only requires drops, or is just nothing but little clouds and nothing to worry about or put drops on. Please and thank you and fuzzy kisses from my girl kid.

More Shorties

The official weigh in numbers still have me in first place with a total of 2.9 pounds lost since February 1st.

It sort of sucks that my work schedule gets me here an hour before everyone else. They come in without having breakfast or coffee to get weighed and my weigh in is after food and coffee. When I first arrived, I was 3.3 pounds down! That coffee weighed me down! But, whatever. Again, the end result is the one that matters and I’ll just not eat or drink that day until everyone gets weighed.

In case you are wondering what changes I’ve made, I’ve basically just cut out most carbs in the form of bread and pasta but not completely, cut way back on my sugar intake, and am cooking real food instead of from boxes.

My food this week has been:
Breakfast: 4 bacon fat deviled eggs with Trader Joe’s Everything But the Bagel seasoning. Which, essentially, is two eggs.
One cup of coffee at the office. Seattle’s Best Hazelnut with Natural Bliss Vanilla creamer
10am-ish snack: Grapes with one original flavor BabyBel cheese
Lunch: Blue Apron meal. Up to today it has been half a chicken breast, some creamy orzo with Brussels sprouts. Today and tomorrow it will be a steak medallion with roasted potatoes and red onions. I also have some sauteed zucchini and sweet peppers on hand if I need a bit more.
Afternoon snack: I have a bag of Dove Dark Chocolate eggs on my desk. A serving is 6 eggs. However, I just let one melt in my mouth each hour after lunch just so I’m not cold turkeying the sugar. But that means I’m not eating a full serving of them, either. I likely have 4 a day.
Dinner: This is where things fall apart but apparently not in a detrimental manner. I’ve not really had a real dinner except for last night, when I had that steak medallion meal. And, I guess, Tuesday night as I cooked it I likely ate a full meal and didn’t realize it. Monday night I don’t even remember what I had!

I’m doing my hallway walks at lunch and my evening walks in the ‘hood, even if my friend doesn’t go. Not to mention I’ve been so busy at work and walking back and forth from office to office that I’ve been getting lots of steps in each day!

My frame of mind, however, is crap. I want to feel chipper but I’m grouchy as fuck. I should check my period app to see if PMS is to blame. But people keep pissing me off. Not to mention that I have used two new products on my previously super soft and smooth face and now it feels rough and dry and I don’t know which one caused it so now I’m just not using much of anything and I look terrible while I let my face calm down. And I think old age has hit my hair because I just looks like shit. I look dumpy and old, y’all. And I’m grumpy to boot so my killer smile ain’t around to even that shit out! But this, too, shall pass.

But for now? I’m number one!


Work is incredibly busy right now so this is just a super quick update:

I’m down 1.8 lbs from February 1 and that keeps me in first place in the weight loss challenge. I feel super motivated at the moment and am devoting Sunday evening to meal prep of the week’s breakfast and lunch. Watch out!

I feel good about being in first because, at the moment, I’m also the only one losing AND I’m the only one eating real food and not just protein shakes and yogurt. Real food for the win!

My allergies are horrible and making me NOT want to walk but thankfully I have a friend in my neighborhood to keep me accountable and I’m always happier after I walk, even though it really does make my allergies worse at the moment.

Same friend also kept me accountable at lunch yesterday and I had a good, healthy sandwich from a local cafe instead of a quickie fast food lunch. It was better for me, tastier, and cost the same but really less because I have half of it left for today’s lunch. Boom!

I’m super duper sick of people and their gun love and their nonsense and calling the victims’ friends and families and survivors actors and all of the arguing and lack of facts. Sick of it. But I’m also sooooo impressed with the teens and I want to do whatever I can to support them.

That’s it. Gotta get back to this massive pile of projects that suddenly appeared in front of me this week. Earn those dollars!!

hello tacos, my old friend

I didn’t realize until I was in the middle of eating them but I’d not rushed right out as soon as I realized I could eat normally again to gorge on real tacos. That was fixed yesterday and I had delicious tacos and it was so good and I am so happy and it was just perfect.

This whole weekend was perfect, really.

It was, like, the first back to my actual, normal life feeling weekend in forever. And nothing really exciting happened. It was just me and my boyfriend hanging out, making each other laugh, doing boyfriend/girlfriend things, running errands, eating, and watching our little dogs be dogs. And I loved every damn minute of it and I’m just so happy.

I started my period yesterday and I bloat like a beast and I feel like I’ve not really cared about how much or what I’ve been eating so I was scared when I got on the scale this morning. For no reason. Because while I’ve not lost, I’ve not gained, either. I’m exactly where I was on weigh in Thursday! Woo!

That caused me to reflect and while I did eat like a person not on a diet I also didn’t really eat as much as I felt I had and I still did a lot of moving around so I’m on the right track. Yay!

I saw a photo of a hippie lady doing yoga with her kids while she’s freely bleeding from her vagina and to this I say “no, lady, you’re doing this wrong.” I agree that our periods need to be less of a secret and I applaud the commercials that are making it more normal for teens and women to be seen handing each other tampons and pads out in the open instead of under the cover of night but we don’t need to go overboard and bleed on our kids. For fuck’s sake, you guys, stop ruining everything by being so goddamned extreme.

I’m now 60% through “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” and I’m even more convinced that everyone needs to listen to/read this book. Now, it does sort of ignore some socioeconomic aspects of lives that can/will make it harder for some people to get to a place of being able to own their choices and accept that we are all 100% responsible for our choices and ourselves. He mentions therapy and not everyone can afford therapy in order to get to that place and I get that. But this book is still really good and highlighting what I’ve tried to get some other people to understand, which is “Yeah, people suck and it’s their fault that they’ve treated you like shit but they are not responsible for you feeling like shit. You’re making choices to keep yourself focused on that and making choices to not make yourself a bit more happy.” YOU are responsible for YOU. I know far too many people that don’t understand this and they place their happiness on the backs of everyone around them. They’ll never be happy until they understand they are the one in the charge.

Again, that is not to say that I think I’m some perfect example of how to be. I have many, many flaws that I am aware of and, likely, a few that I’m not. But I’m trying to work on them and when I fuck up I apologize. But I accepted about 10-ish years ago that I am the only one responsible for me and my life and my joy and since then my life has just grown and flourished. I’ve stumbled a long the way and I even put the blame on another person. But as soon as I took it off of them and back on me? Happy returned even stronger! So, again, I’m not perfect but I am in charge of me.

I hope everyone had a good weekend and is starting the week off well.

No Fucks Given

I received an offer for a free audio-book from Google Play Books so I used it to get “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck.” I’m not even through the first chapter and I already love it. It’s making me realize that my issue with most people around me is that they give way too many fucks about nonsense and I give none on their fuck given topics and therefore they try to force me to by doing bullshit to drag me to their playground. But I take my own fuck free ball and go home. Which explains why they don’t like me. They give way too many fucks.

Now, that is not to say that I am free of all fucks. I clearly have some that I need to work on. But so far, generally speaking, I’m doing ok according to this guy. Yay!

So, I’ll be listening to this book on my commute instead of podcasts. It’s a nice change of pace, I think. But I sort of suspect that if I like it this much all the way through I may just need a physical copy to thumb through when I need a reminder. And send copies to people. Anonymously.

It seems that our official weigh in at the office for the challenge will be on Mondays instead of Thursdays, even though we started last Thursday, and that’s fine. Whatever. But I did a weigh in today anyway and I’m down 1.7 lbs!! Because I pooped this morning. My insides are still working themselves out so that doesn’t always happen. I’ve been so bloated this week that I hoped it would happen soon and boy did it. TMI? I don’t care. I’m  happy. My slightly adjusted diet and amped up activity is already paying off! I hope to keep my weight loss each week between 1 and 2 pounds. Oh, and we’re doing three months not two. So, I should easily reach the 10 pounds gone goal. BOOM!

I did my lunch walk, took care of my boyfriend’s dogs, and did my evening walk and wound up with over 14k steps yesterday. I’m back!

When I bought my Instant Pot I joined a group on Facebook to get recipe ideas but all I kept seeing was posts about hard boiled eggs and spaghetti. Two of the easiest things on earth to cook. I was annoyed. I scoffed. I made fun of them out here in real life. I left the group. Cut to Monday night when I was exhausted but really knew the right thing to do was make my weekly breakfast. I decided I’d do the eggs in the Instant Pot while I fried bacon to cut down on time. And what I discovered is that hard boiled eggs in the Instant Pot come out PERFECT and are the absolutely easiest to peel eggs I’ve ever experienced and I will now only make them in there. And? I should check out this spaghetti deal to see if it holds up!

I have my Federal and my State tax refunds now and that means I now also have a bit of a savings account and I am so pleased. Just…pleased, man. I really like how it’s suddenly back to my normal life like last year never even happened. It’s so weird, really. How things can be so terrible for so long and then before you even know it they’re just not. But I also want to be able to appreciate how lucky I am that it was that easy for me. I’ve been reading articles and the comment sections on how various people in our own country have been wiped out by illness, how their finances are in ruins, how some family members just simply died because they couldn’t get treatment, how some people died because they were afraid of the costs of treatments. I’m so fortunate and I will never take that for granted again.