Recovery

I worked all day on Monday and at the end of the day I was exhausted and all of the people that were all “this is routine surgery, you’ll be fine!” beforehand turned into “You had major surgery! Of course you’re tired.” People lie, is the moral to this. They lie to calm you down.

Tuesday morning I was getting ready to leave for work when a major development occurred:

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I WAS SO HAPPY!!!

It happened again this morning. As did my period. Because life is funny that way.

I ate the biggest meal yet yesterday, a turkey burger and some sweet potato fries. So far, so good. I’m still holding out final determination until I’m not gassy or crampy or any of the things.

I’m healing well, I’m moving better, I’m sleeping GREAT thanks to being worn the fuck out by being at work and my body healing itself each day. Incisions are itchy, which is a good sign.

A week after surgery and I’m doing pretty swell. I’d say.

So swell that this morning I put my FitBit on the charger so I can start wearing it again and start getting a bit of my routine back in place.

Life is about to be all sorts of normal. Amen.

I’m Alive!

And back to work as I’d planned and all of it! So, let’s recap surgery and the subsequent days, shall we?

Wednesday I was a big ol’ ball of nerves so I made myself busy. I did laundry, I did dishes, I straightened up the house a bit, I made my bed, and on and on. Just, stayed busy. While I’m doing this, I’m making my little spirit dog a nervous wreck and she starts to puke.

My boyfriend comes and takes to the hospital and he’s working and being there with me and I’m OK until I get into the pre-op room and I get into the gown and the bed and have the IV and then oh, man I’m nervous. This is it. I’m having surgery!

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So I’m trying to get him to calm me down when I realize…he’s just as nervous, if not more so, than I am and that is the moment when it truly and completely hit me how much I am cared for by this man. I should never ever doubt that again.

The surgeon comes in, the anesthesiologist comes in, nurses come in, and then I’m being wheeled away.

I remember going into the operating room and being impressed with how cool it looks with the huge round lights and all of the equipment and wishing I had a way to take a photo. I remember them hooking up the leg compression socks and them starting to work. And then I wake up in the recovery room immediately queasy as all fuck with a nurse right in my face asking me how I feel. She gives me a shot of something and off I go again to sleep.

But once I’m awake again they start making me move around, they give me 7-Up to sip, I’m freezing and my teeth are chattering so they give me heated blankets, and I want is my boyfriend. So they get him. And it’s all a blur. They wheel me down to the street. He picks me up. We go to the pharmacy. People are telling me things and asking me questions and I likely should not be in charge of information at that time. He gets me home, he gets me settled, he makes sure I am ok and then he leaves. He says “something, something, something….don’t be a hero!” I think the somethings were “call me if you need stuff, don’t over do it!”

I get into bed with Netflix and I sleep. My dogs are loose in the rest of the house and they are being so quiet and so good. It’s like they know. I wake up feeling ok and I take care of them and then we all go to bed and I sleep most of the night. I get up a lot to pee, I recall.

Thursday I wake up feeling remarkably good and I log on to work and check and answer emails. But then things become blurry again and I spent most of Thursday on the couch watching Arrow and letting the dogs in and out and in and out and in and out and then eating things here and there.

Thursday night I tried to get into my bed and everything about that sucked and it felt like I was pulling all of my incisions no matter how I moved and nothing was comfortable and it felt like I was ripping things open and I freaked out and I screamed and cried and wailed and all of this was just a minute but felt so long during and so horrible but then, I was on the floor on my feet and it was all fine. So, I slept on the couch.

One thing nobody at all ever warned me about was the gas. They fill you with air and then you are gassy afterwards and then you are also constipated and that gives you more gas and that is the sexy side effect of surgery that nobody ever tells you. So I’m telling you now. I’m taking a stool softener AND putting Miralax in my morning chocolate milk to get this shit moving. (put not intended but there ya go!)

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So, now if YOU have to have surgery you will know this part and it will not catch you by surprise like it did me. The gas pains have, in a lot of ways, been the worst part of the whole thing.

Friday morning they wanted me to come and get my car as it was ready and I was all “I just had surgery and I’m on Percocet and should not be driving!” and the insurance company was all “too bad, so sad” and the collision repair places was all “you fuckers! We’ll save the day!” and brought me my car and took the rental back and nothing bad happened and I love them.

2am Friday was my last Percocet and I feel like a bad ass for only being on ibuprofen now as needed. Boom!

The rest of Friday looked like this:

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I finished catching up with Arrow then started catching up with Flash and all was well. A co-worker brought me 7-Up and Reese’s and life was swell.

Saturday I went to a baseball game! I think that was the best thing for me. Walking, moving, fresh air, something to focus on other than just having just had surgery, other people. my boyfriend, LIFE! It was great.

Sunday I drove my boyfriend to lunch! And I ate 1/2 of a grilled chicken sandwich with swiss cheese and some sweet potato fries. Then we hung out at his place and he showed me silly videos that made me laugh, which hurts.

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I slept in my bed Saturday and Sunday night and I’m feeling pretty good.

So, that is the tale of surgery. Hopefully the gas and constipation will go away super soon so I can see if my issue is resolved! The surgeon said “no wonder she was in so much pain!” upon seeing my gallbladder, so that’s a good sign. He took photos of it, and it doesn’t look super healthy fo’ sho’.  So, keep your fingers crossed for me! For me to poo regularly very soon and that all is resolved. Please and thank you.

Baby He’s Ready To Roar

Today is my last full day with a gallbladder!!

It’s so weird and awesome that they can remove an organ and send you home in the same day. So weird but also so awesome.

I’m a bit nervous but also ready.

And that’s that!

Now, in light of the news today, here’s what I find to be an appropriate song. If we’re gonna all be exploded we might as well dance.

Deal

I met with the surgeon yesterday and I am getting this gallbladder of mine removed next Wednesday! Eeep. And, also, yay!

As I was giving him the history and answering his questions one phrase kept coming up: “I just dealt with it.” Because that’s just kind of what I do until I either cannot deal with it any longer or it becomes super clear that I shouldn’t.

“So you were eating tacos, felt like you were having a heart attack and you just…..kept eating the tacos?”

Me, smiling, “YOLO!” to which his assistant giggled.

I gave him my medical/surgical history and, apparently, even though I have never considered my fibroid removal to be a real surgery it was. So, I’ve been through surgery before and that should help calm me down. Except it’s not. But, again, he asked “what symptoms did you have with the fibroid” and I was all “oh, you know, super heavy bleeding for up to 11 days until I was anemic. But I just dealt with that for a while…”

So when he tells me “I like to tell people that recovery takes one to two weeks but I’ve known some to be back up in one to two days…” and I was all “Oh, I’m shooting for the one to two days thing!” he smiled and said “Of course you are.”

So, I like my surgeon. He put me at ease, he talked to me, he gave me ample time to ask questions and he answered them thoughtfully, and he offered to give me something to calm me down the day of if I really felt that was necessary but I declined. Knowing that is an option is sometimes enough and, if I’m too amped up the day of, I can take a Xanax (with his permission, of course) or I can ask for something once I’m all checked in.

I’m a little nervous about recovery and being on my own and all of that but I’ll just stock up on the proper foods and make sure I have books and Netflix/Amazon/Hulu binges at the ready and plenty of space for naps. I wish I could prepare my little dogs so I don’t have to worry about their needs but that’s not a thing. Dogs don’t get it. And I’m sure my boyfriend will be helpful so I should likely just stop fretting.

The other good news is that I was finally able to eat my delish birthday Mexican lunch from Saturday. The whole thing. Without even a hint of an issue. Because my gallbladder is random as fuck.

Soon I shall be able to talk about hikes and walks and going to the gym and eating healthy and all of the things! So soon!

They Come In Threes

Last Tuesday I woke up with a stomach bug. I didn’t immediately identify it as a stomach bug thanks to my gallbladder issues but it was, in fact, a stomach bug. It lasted until sometime on Friday.

I was rear ended last Wednesday. I was on my way to work for a few hours in the afternoon when whammo. All up in my car’s rear end. I get to start the repairs and get my rental today.

My dog puked up pink frothy vomit and that could be congestive heart failure or lung infection or nothing that bad so we’ll see. She is NOT allowed to be sick right now. I cannot handle it. She’s my little mini me in doggy format and maybe she’s just having sympathy gallbladder failure.

This morning I woke up fine but then I drank water and immediately could feel my gallbladder and I’m fucking OVER IT.

My birthday was over the weekend and my boyfriend did such a lovely job of making the day feel so special. We didn’t even do anything major but he just has this way, y’all. I felt so happy and loved. Even when I ate two tortilla chips and almost died, puked on the side of road, and at his house and then didn’t get to eat anything but the cake he made me.

That’s right. All I can eat is Oreo cheesecake and cream o’ wheat with brown sugar. My gallbladder is going to give me diabetes. It’s like I’m in some weird real life episode of the Twilight Zone.  All she ever wanted was to eat cake…well…be careful what you wish for….ALL YOU CAN EVER EAT AGAIN IS CAKE!!! It’s not as fun as you would think it is.

I’m still low key dehydrated from the stomach bug but I just can’t drink a lot of water at once like I need to as it hurts my gallbladder and I’m down 4 pounds, which was 5 at one point, and this is not the best way to lose weight but….fine. I’m now only 11 pounds from my goal. *shrug*

Frustration is the tone here. Major fucking frustration.

Do You Really Know What Love Is?

I feel as good today as I felt bad last week. I honestly am to the point that I believe my gallbladder isn’t reacting to what I eat and just acts up when it wants to and likes it better when I eat food that is not super good for me. I don’t drink soda any more but I think my gallbladder is sad about this and wants me to drink Coke because when I drink Coke I can burp with ease and relieve pressure and then things are good. That and my period is on the way out and they do, absolutely, correspond with one another but that doesn’t mean that I can keep the gallbladder. Oh, no. It still has to go. Which is, like, fine and all of that. But I’m worried and nervous about surgery because that’s who I am and, like, get over it, folks that don’t worry and get nervous about shit. For fuck’s sake. We’re all individuals.

But I sense that some people are growing frustrated with me and my gallbladder woes because they have either had them, but in the form of stones, or they just don’t understand what I’m dealing with and when I shoot down suggestions as to how to feel better either because I’ve tried it and it didn’t work or I have tried it and it worked some of the time and then not other times and that’s why I think it’s not actually reacting to food and more to it just being a bum gallbladder that’s not functioning properly.

So my diet is crap and my gallbladder will continue to react at random and that’s my life until this shit is resolved.

So, now let’s just move on and do my super late review of the Purple Rain Deluxe Extended CD set!! That’s way more fun.

I will not review Disc 1 because all that is is a remastered copy of the original “Purple Rain” soundtrack and since I don’t have the ears of an audiophile or fancy equipment, I ain’t hearing the difference. I’ve seen complaints. I have none.

I’m not doing an extensive review of Disc 3, either. So, I should have just said “This is my review of Disc 2.” But no!

So. Disc 2 is the disc that has all of the previously unreleased songs, even though some people have had them and heard them or some version of them. Because that’s the thing with Prince. He has various versions of songs floating around if you know where to look but I never knew where to look or that it was even happening and so most of this is completely new to me.

Song one is “Dance Electric” and I’d heard Andre Cymone’s version and new Prince wrote it but I’d never heard Prince’s version and now I will never listen to Andre Cymone’s and so sorry, Andre…Prince wins. Always. It’s long and gets tedious after a bit but I can imagine it would have absolutely been a party to hear this live. But when he dips down into his lower register during this song my panties fall off so….yeah.

Song two is “Love and Sex” and I don’t really love this so much. It’s ok, it’s still a Prince song, but I don’t love it and I usually skip it.

Song three is the extended version of “Computer Blue” and I have this one already but it’s in a five hour mix of Minneapolis music in one sound file and it was never easy to just get to it so it’s absolutely amazing to have this version to easily accessible and it is a fucking JAM, y’all. If you’ve only been luke warm to “Computer Blue” you should give this one a try. The water is warm enough, Lisa…hell yes. It’s about 9ish minutes long and it’s got a preview as to the types of thing he’d go on to do on the “Batman” soundtrack years later. I LOVE THIS SONG. “Poor, lonely computer.”

Song four is “Electric Intercourse” and it’s one of the songs that I see the most complaining about. Apparently there is a live version floating around that people LOVE so when they finally got this studio version they were disappointed and sad and all of the things. I’d never heard it before, honestly, so I’m not approaching it from that vantage point. But I am approaching it from a place of “this is not a great song.” Allegedly this song was originally going to be on the Soundtrack but was bumped by “The Beautiful Ones” and I cannot argue with that decision based on this version in this set. “The Beautiful Ones” is superior and dramatic and just better. Maybe I’d change my mind if I heard the live version but I haven’t and I’m not.

Song five is “Our Destiny/Roadhouse Garden” and this is my most favorite song here. It is one of those songs that makes me sad that he’s gone and gone forever. I cry almost every time I hear it. The first part is sung by Lisa and it’s just a sweet little song. But then “Roadhouse Garden” kicks in and it’s gospel Prince and his voice is just perfect and I die. It’s perfect and I hope they find more stuff like this to release in the future to get me in my feels in all the right ways.

Song six is “Possessed” and it was heard in instrumental version in the movie. I’d never heard it, despite it being widely available. Yes, I was a fan. No, I wasn’t in the know. It’s fine. It’s a good song and you can dance to it. There’s my American Bandstand review of that.

(I might be bored of doing this review…)

Song seven is “Wonderful Ass” and it’s fucking DELIGHTFUL! It’s the most delightful ode to a beautiful booty that I have ever heard.

Song eight is “Velvet Kitty Cat” and it’s cute and everything but…it seems so far out of place here even though it was recorded in the Purple Rain years so chronologically it fits. Tonally….not so much. But it’s cute.

Song nine is “Katrina’s Paper Dolls” and it’s the same story as VKC. Good song, seems out of place. And even though the history shows this was recorded during the PR years it seems like it fits more in line with what he wound up putting on “Sign o’ the Times.”

Now we’re to song ten, “We Can Fuck” and OH YES WE CAN!! We can also get down and dance because this song is great. It’s sexy and funky and just pure Prince and I love it.

The last song on Disc 2 is “Father’s Song” which is the extended version of the piano instrumental from Purple Rain and it’s pretty great to finally have this to listen to any time I want to. It starts out as a lovely piano instrumental and somehow morphs into something that sounds like a space odyssey and I love it. It’s a great way to end this disc.

The third disc is a collection of B sides and extended mixes that is good for people that want complete sets of things. I’d heard most of them throughout the years, since they weren’t necessarily rare. But it’s missing the extended version of “17 Days” which is what I really want and they better come out with that one sometime. Because that one just might be my most favorite Prince song if I have to ever be nailed down to name just one.

So, to wrap this up…I’m not complaining about this set at all. Prince is dead and things were not left in writing as to what he wanted done so it’s up to others to decide. And, frankly, I suspect he did that shit on purpose. I think the man was in such control of his LIFE that he was all “who cares what happens after I die” and that’s hard for some people to grasp and I could be wrong. I didn’t know him. And he did control his life in every way. So for a lot of folks it’s hard to comprehend that he’d not put that same control into his image and music for once he was gone. But he didn’t. So, I’m not complaining. I’m going to be appreciative of what is done and released and anything I get to hear from him that will be new to me since there will not be anything truly new from him ever again. He’s gone. But he left a lifetime plus of music in his vault and all I can ask is that they treat it and release it with care and not willy nilly for quick dollars.

Prince makes me happy. I’m happy to share that with others.

 

 

 

IRL Stress Test

Monday I ate rosemary braised pork and was fine. Yesterday I ate a few bites of meatloaf and thought I was going to die and/or puke.

I called and put myself on a wait list to get in for the surgeon consultation sooner if they have any cancellations as I am now realizing that this randomly feeling like I may die if I try to eat something other than bland food is a nightmare. Yes, I’m stubborn and should just fucking stick to the bland food like I said I was going to do. So, fine….after today I’ll do that. Shit. Being reasonable, man. Fuck.

But last night I had the weirdest dreams about my surgery and then waking up in recovery at a Radiohead concert with a co-worker and a person that was not his wife and it was all very weird and I’m obviously stressed out about surgery. And the bills. And the recovery. And the random bouts of gallbladder attackeryness. Stress dreams.

I’ve turned into a boring person that can only talk about her gallbladder. For shame.