So, last Friday I decided I should do my monthly breast exam. That promptly resulted in me realizing that my breast cyst has already refilled which now means my doctor wants me to go to a breast specialist and have it all just cut out with a knife. I just can’t even with this right now.
I have a very stressful family situation that I’m not going to get into here. But I’m typing this out to remind myself that it’s not my fault, the rest of my family is “on my side,” I have a very happy life full of friends and love and hobbies and interests, and it’s too bad that the other person can’t just see that and/or just have the same for herself. Following the Mr. Rogers documentary page on Twitter and seeing all of their tweets of his quotes and lessons about loving yourself and how special you are and how people love you just as you are have really hit home and helped me understand that I am surrounded by people that simply love ME. Even with my flaws and shortcomings and without any expectations or beating me down if I don’t meet them. Just true, honest, unconditional love for ME. Why am I letting ONE person bring me down? I’m not sure.
My weight isn’t changing and my activity level has been crap and most of this I’m going to blame on how damn busy I’ve been at work and in my personal life and there’s been no rest for this very tired girl. Not to mention the aforementioned stress isn’t helping. I suspect that on June 25th I’ll be able to breathe easy and get on the best track.
Seeing photos of myself right now, though, is not fun. I’m really heavy and it shows. *sigh*
All I can do is be the best me in each moment, whatever level that best is. And sometimes my best is simply getting through the day. Getting through my to do list and then getting home and doing the responsibilities and then sitting on the couch without crying. That’s my best right now.
So, here I am reminding myself and YOU! that you are special just as you are and people love YOU! Keep being you.