IRL Stress Test

Monday I ate rosemary braised pork and was fine. Yesterday I ate a few bites of meatloaf and thought I was going to die and/or puke.

I called and put myself on a wait list to get in for the surgeon consultation sooner if they have any cancellations as I am now realizing that this randomly feeling like I may die if I try to eat something other than bland food is a nightmare. Yes, I’m stubborn and should just fucking stick to the bland food like I said I was going to do. So, fine….after today I’ll do that. Shit. Being reasonable, man. Fuck.

But last night I had the weirdest dreams about my surgery and then waking up in recovery at a Radiohead concert with a co-worker and a person that was not his wife and it was all very weird and I’m obviously stressed out about surgery. And the bills. And the recovery. And the random bouts of gallbladder attackeryness. Stress dreams.

I’ve turned into a boring person that can only talk about her gallbladder. For shame.


So, in the last post I said I felt mostly fine and insisted that even though it sounded like I likely didn’t feel mostly fine I really did. Well, that was mostly true but also mostly not true. I haven’t felt 100% since the ER visit in June but why sit around and whine about it?

So, I had my stress test and the unofficial results are that my heart is good. It works the way it should. And I’m nice so all around good heart.

This Wednesday I had that HIDA scan. It wasn’t as scary as I thought it was going to be. And the lady that put in the IV portal for the injections was so good that I didn’t even feel her do it and I’d like to take her to all of my appointments that require an IV and have her do it! She gets a gold star in starting an IV.

So, the first hour of the HIDA scan is just taking random photos every 5 to 10 minutes after they inject you with the nuclear tracer to see how things pass through your gallbladder, pancreas, and liver. I don’t know if that’s the proper order but that’s the organs they watch. You have to lay still on your back but you can use your phone so I IMed with my boyfriend a few times, took photos for Instagram (seriously…I’m the worst), and listened to podcasts. It wasn’t as uncomfortable laying like that as I thought it would be. In fact, it was just fine.

Then I had to lay on my side for 3 minutes to get that view, no issues.

Then back on my back for the last 30 minutes of the test where they then inject you three times full of some hormone that makes your gallbladder empty. As soon as that hit my system all of my horrible symptoms hit me all at once in fast forward. I felt nauseated. I was dizzy. Then my chest hurt. Then down into my middle abdomen. Then lower abdomen. Then I was fine. I went through that three times. As I’m experiencing this she’s taking notes and says “this is good information!”

Then the test it over. I feel fine. She says to drink lots of fluids to flush out the radioactive material and that I can eat without restrictions.


What she wasn’t realizing was that she just really irritated and pissed off my gallbladder and even plain old water was going to make me feel like I was going to die. I also did not realize this so I went straight to work instead of my home, just 6 minutes away, and started drinking water. Which immediately made me feel like I was going to die and then I decided to try to drive myself home but my very kind coworkers were all “You stubborn asshole. Ask for help and stop being so dumb.” and drove me home.

I called my GI doc and was all “Get the results of this test ASAP so we can fix this as I’m going to die!!!!”

I puked. I felt terrible. I took a nap. I woke up and ate a little bit. That was fine. I started drinking water. That was fine. I felt sore, like I’d been throwing up all day, but mostly fine. Well, my new fine. My boyfriend drove me to get my car.

Also in that time frame my GI doc called to say “The test showed your gallbladder is fine, however it’s a liar so call this surgeon to have that lying bastard yanked out.” So I did! I’m meeting with a surgeon in August and we’ll schedule the removal of this dumb gallbladder of mine.

It seems that in about 21% of women that have HIDA scan results that show a fine gallbladder despite having the symptoms during the test and that is called biliary dyskinesia and I shouldn’t worry about us taking out a seemingly healthy organ because it is not healthy. It’s a dirty liar, though.

So…yay! I now know what the fuck and I am oh so pleased. In the meantime I shall continue to eat bland food diet, which isn’t so bad since it’s all comfort food. I’m trying to be reasonable and so far my weight is holding steady and I should be able to increase my activity next week without all of the doctor’s appointments holding me back. I have about two and a half weeks to be active during the day! Yay! But that also means I have about three plus weeks left of not feeling super great. Then a surgery to recover from. But it’s fine.

I’m fine!

Catch All

I debated just doing a review of the “Purple Rain Deluxe: Extended” cd/dvd set that was released today but, instead, I’m gonna jot down all of my notes and info about my bullshit GI issues so I have them in one spot to refer back to. And, in case any doctors or medical folks see this they can say “Oh, that’s XYZ condition and you should ask for abc to be done!” Because I’m not enjoying being a medical mystery at the moment.

Sometime during the week of May 11th I had my issue with the tacos. I was eating tacos and I suddenly felt like I was having a heart attack. I don’t recall it lingering and I’m pretty sure I continued to eat as normal in the days after. Since I don’t remember what day this was I don’t know if I was on my period when it occurred or if it was right before. But period was involved.

June 3rd I ate pizza and felt like I was having a heart attack and a gas attack and I couldn’t get comfortable or puke or poo or fart or burp or anything and I finally fell asleep and then woke up and felt fine. My period started the next day.

June 17th I ate potstickers and all of the above happened but it seemed worse and it was so soon after the last time that I contacted my Aunt and she told me to go to the ER so I did. That was the last day of ovulation.

After that incident I felt like shit for about a week but was able to eat and I pushed the limits like a maniac.

June 24th I felt the worst I have felt and I finally threw up and then felt immediately better. But then I continued to be a maniac and feeling like shit continued.

I went to a cardiologist and he is absolutely convinced this is not cardiac but I’m going for a stress test this Friday. It’s just money afterall.

I’ve been eating a mostly bland food diet because I felt terrible and I cried a lot and felt frustrated and people treated me like I was being a maniac. Because I was. So, bland food. But then my period ended and I felt oddly good. So I tested the waters and ate Mexican one day for lunch but kept it bland the rest of the day. I ate BBQ the next day for lunch, bland the rest of the day. Rinse, repeat.

I mostly feel fine. Eating pizza last night made me feel like I could start to feel bad so I stopped eating it and then that subsided. I am, however, more gassy than usual. I burp a lot. Fart when home alone. My stomach gurgles and makes sounds. And I feel hungry sooner than usual but that could just be because my bland food meals are also sort of small. I may not be eating enough. I also feel dizzy/vertigoish at times. Which seems to all contradict that “I mostly feel fine.” statement except compared to just a week or so ago, I do.

So, now I’m wondering if my GI tract and my hormones are in cahoots to just make me feel horrible all of the times. I guess we’ll fine out. I have to have a super fun sounding HIDA scan next week. Once I have those results I’ll talk to my doc and we’ll go from there. If we rule out all of the GI issues it could be and take all of my money to do so I’ll then go see my gyno to see if she can take more of my money and time and find out what the fuck.

That’s all I want to know these days. What the fuck.