OMGOMGOMGOMG!

So, I wanted to do a real, proper post before I took off for the Canyon but this week has just been a whirlwind of activity and anxiety and excitement. So, just a quickie update and then my tired, delirious, glass case of emotion ass is going to bed.

Monday I had lunch with the cute guy. And he is nice and we’ve been texting and we want to see each other again. Yay!!

Tuesday, I worked out with Tyler for the last time before the Canyon. We mostly did stretches.

Oh, before that I went to a hike shop to make sure my pack was packed right and wasn’t too heavy and it was and it wasn’t and life is good. Then I went to the gym and he made me sit down and stand up while wearing the pack and then after that we just did active stretching and he showed me stretches to do in the Canyon and sent me on my way.

Thursday my friends arrived and we had dinner and merriment.

Today we have run all over the place in the most inefficient manner possible buying all of the last minute things and still forgetting some of them and oh my god I am so tired and this is why I don’t have kids with soccer games and dentist appointments and ballet class and math homework. Because running errands and not being organized broke my brain.

I just had a meltdown on my friends because I’m over tired and I’m started to be really anxious so I act like a jerk. Which is horrible. Because my friends are awesome and I love them.

People are sending me good luck cards, posting supportive things on my Facebook, texting me, etc. And I’m overwhelmed with all of the nice and I might cry. Because of the glass case of emotions thing.

So, now I have updated in a super cliff notey way and I can let Jeff have the room and I can go to bed and try to sleep.

Oh. My. God. This is really happening. We’re really going to go hike the Grand Canyon. It’s time. It’s here.

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!

Final Stretch

So, this is it. The last few days before my friends arrive and then we head up to the Grand Canyon to do our rim to rim backpacking vacation fun time!!

Yesterday I went to REI and bought yet another new hat because I determined I hated the other one I bought and should return it. I got collapsible mug and bowl and foldable fork and spoon. Toilet paper. More sock liners. Then I hit the store and bought Pop Tarts and Cream of Wheat and other easy to carry things to go with the dehydrated meals I ordered from Amazon.

Today I’m gonna work on putting everything in my pack so I can take it to the gym tomorrow just to see how much heavier it is and walk on the treadmill with it. YIKES!!

But first, let’s get up to speed, shall we?

Tuesday gym looked like this:

db walking lunges 12×1/3 12×1/3 12×1/3 12×1/3 12×1/3 12×1/3
DB curl & press 12×10 12×10 12×10 12×10 12×10 12×10
DB overhead tricep ext 12×10 12×10 12×10 12×10 12×10 12×10
Leg press 90×10 90×10 90×10
Hamstring curls 40×10 40×10 40×10
Kept getting dizzy
Only ate lunch at 12
Bought a victory bar

I get to the gym and Tyler thinks it’s the last session before the Canyon and I’m all NO! We have three more and then he’s all well, then GAME ON! and off I go to do walking lunges with 12lb weights. I notice I am getting dizzy. Then eventually he notices I’m getting dizzy. Likely when I took a giant step backwards in a wobbly fashion. He then asked “What did you eat today?” My mind goes blank and I stare at him. “What did you have for breakfast?” Um….nothing! I had no breakfast. “OK. What was lunch?” I had a good answer for that. I made that amazing cashew, chia & flax seed crusted chicken again and had sauteed veggies. “What time was that?” Noon! “What did you have after that?” Nothing… “What time is is now?” I look at the clock. It’s 6pm.

He reminds me that I’m hypoglycemic and that while it’s not good for anyone to only eat once in a day, especially if working out, it’s especially not good for me. He then picked out a protein bar from their supply and made me eat it while threatening to make me drink egg whites. And, as you see above, he made note of it. On the actual sheet that I go to look at it’s in red. He was seriously not impressed.

So, because I had a bad day that somehow resulting in me not having food, I had a not very productive time at the gym. But!! I had time at the gym and I’m gonna count it. Boom.

Thursday gym time looked like this:

Elevated squats with pass over 3 10 / 10 10 / 10 10 / 10 10 / 10
Stepper DB front squats 3 10 10×10 10×10 10×10
Stepper renegade lunge 3 10 / 10 10×10/10 10×10/10 10×10/10
Stepper squat hops 3 10 10 10 10
Stepper single leg glute bridge 3 10 / 10 10 / 10 10 / 10 10 / 10
Stepper double leg glute bridge 3 10 10 10 10

Everything was done at the stepper. It was pretty good but I still got dizzy a bit and I’m fucking tired of getting dizzy. The end.

During the week I had a melt down. I’m anxious about the hike and I’m dealing with various people’s bullshit. And all of that woke up an old hurt and then I decided I needed to purge my life of reminders of that old hurt. So, I gave away my Roku and I bought my own.

I can buy my own damn Roku!

I can buy my own damn Roku!

It arrived on Friday and I set it all up. It’s so much newer and nicer and fancier and I’m super pleased.

During this anxiety fest I also decided to join Plenty of Fish because why the hell not. And I immediately started to get notes and so far they’ve mostly been super nice and just from men that would like to meet me and not for boning purposes. Though I think there’s been a few of those, too. But then I saw a photo of a guy that just really had a nice face. And not just, like, an adorable face. But…nice. Kind. He looks like a nice guy. Something about his face made me think he was nice so I contacted him. And we’ve been chatting ever since and we’re going out to lunch today and more on that later oh my god.

This weekend, I hiked! We have a group of people from the hiking group that likes to sometimes do things that aren’t listed on Meetup, we just put it together and invite those we want to go and I am finding I’m enjoying those hikes more. Because it’s more like doing things with friends. Even though my friends are on the other hikes, so are other people. And those people are nice but they’re not the friends group. You know? Yeah.

So, we went to Watson Lake. Sabrina wanted to put this together before my Canyon trip because she really wanted me to go. And I’m glad she did. It’s basically a lot of walking up and over granite dells and while I didn’t love all the areas, I managed to get through them all by myself. I used a shoulder once. And I got down on my butt twice. But overall? I was pleased with how I did and, apparently, so were my friends. Cindy said everytime she turned around to check on me I was smiling and she was happy for me.

It was a BEAUTIFUL hike!!

watson lake-19

The trail is marked with white dots, since the water level changes and it’s all on rocks.

watson lake-20

watson lake-18

watson lake-13

And then I took my littles on the Sunday hike and it was in a really pretty area, too. I enjoyed that hike. Riley is doing so much better on the hikes and I’m starting to enjoy having him along!

The cutest hikers ever.

The cutest hikers ever.

There was a small friend hike today but I decided to stay home, sleep in, cook breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the week, get my pack together, and just be chill before my lunch date.

I have a gym session tomorrow and we’ll likely just do stretches and active stretching. And then my friends arrive on Thursday and then Saturday we hit the road!

I’m not sure if I’ll be able to update between then and now but I shall try. Because excitement. It’s time!! It’s time!!!!

Thirteen!

Last week I ate more like a person that is living the healthy lifestyle while also having a bit of the other food tossed in here and there. It was way more planned out than the week before and my stomach seems to have settled itself down quite nicely. Hur-fucking-ray!

On Tuesday I went to the gym. But I full of cramps and horribleness so I asked if we could do upper body and he said Yes. So that is what we did.

HS incline chest press 20×15 20×15 20×10
seated cable row 60×10 60×10 60×10
Tricep bench dips 15 15 15
BM shoulder press 35×10 35×10 35×10
LF bicep curls 30×10 30×10 30×10
FM chest press 25×10 30×10 30×10
FM rows 35×10 40×10 45×10
Rope work 20:10 3 movements x2 X X

While doing the FM rows he was all “After this we’ll go do abs” and I was all “Yeah, no to abs.” And he was all “No to abs?” and I repeat “No to abs” and he said “Oh, yeah. No to abs. That’s cool.” and then proceeded to make me do the rope work which required the use of my lower back but I didn’t have it in me to argue. So I did the rope work. Watch me go.

By Thursday things had settled down nicely and I was able to do whatever he wanted me to do. Even though I kinda felt like meh. But I was there, dammit. So we meh’ed my way through some leg work!

FM hack squat 80×15 90×15 100×15
Step ups BL3x10 BL3x10 BL4x10
Leg extensions 35×15 35×10 35×10
Stationary lunges 10 10 10
Super leg press single leg 80×10 80×10 80×10
Hamstring curls 45×10 45×10 45×10

The first two sets of step ups were fine. Then he made me step up on a larger step. And I finally got myself going with the right leg but then it was time to do it with the left and I forgot how to lift my leg. So he’d have me do it on the smaller then quickly go back to the larger to try to duplicate it and it was so weird. I’m so weird you guys. I just stand there with this look on my face like “How do I lift my leg and step up? This is so new to me!” I’m on odd little thing.

Then we went to this one machine and he wanted me to do single leg presses and I couldn’t budge, not even an inch, and I laughed all about that then we went to the other machine to do single leg presses. Umm. The right leg? Solid. Press that shit all day long. Left leg? Weak, useless stick. It’s a STARK difference in strength. I am a righty. Lefty is just along for the ride.

Saturday I take myself and my heavy pack to the trail and hike in the rain.

I didn't melt!

I didn’t melt!

I did not make it to the summit but I am done being angry about that. I’ll climb a scary hill by myself some day, I know it. But I am not yet at those days.

Short but very steep. I hate it on a regular day. Add rain and I noped right on out.

Short but very steep. I hate it on a regular day. Add rain and I noped right on out.

Saturday night I went bowling. Bowling always makes me sore.

I do the bowl wiggle.

I do the bowl wiggle.

Then Sunday I strapped on my big pack again and went on a good 5.5 mile hike with good, steady inclines.

Sunrise hikes, man. So much dreamy sigh.

Sunrise hikes, man. So much dreamy sigh.

I’m able to bend over wearing the pack and pick things up off of the ground! Which is good. And I think that I’m gonna pack it up and take it to the gym a few times this week and next to step up on that step over and over with my left leg. Seems like a thing I should do.

Later on Sunday I picked up my friend, Wendy, and we went to see “I Am Big Bird.” It was so damn emotional. I think I’m still feeling it. Here’s a spoiler video. Enjoy your broken heart.

We’re in the last two weeks of this thing now. I’m so antsy about it now. Ready to just get there. Get my feet on the trail. Take in the views. Do this thing. Experience whatever magic I think this hike is going to bring to my life and soul. I’m ready for that.

I’m ready.

Three Weeks!!

In three weeks from today, this moment, I’ll be in the Grand Canyon at the first campground of the trip resting with my friends. Just twenty one days. I’m…excited. And nervous. But mostly excited.

It’s sort of surreal. This event that I’ve been talking about for the past year plus is now just twenty one days away. Like, it’s not longer an abstract thing. Just this thing that I talk about that’s happening in the future. The future is almost now!! OMG!!

The bad thing about taking two weeks off from updating your blog? Your gym spreadsheet isn’t saved and you have absolutely no recollection of what happened in the last three sessions for you to talk about. Let’s just say I rocked it. I know we’ve done all sorts of lunges, squats, wall sits, kettlebell squats, jumps, walking lunges, and crunches. I know that. And I know that I was dizzy and had to take breaks and then Tyler finally said “Please go to the doctor.” So, I did.

My blood pressure is too low and so is my blood sugar. It was last year, too, but now that I did that healthy Whole30 diet they are both lower. Lower to the point of making me dizzy more frequently.

My Mom and I both feel vindicated. For years I’ve gone to different doctors to complain about my dizzy spells and for years they’ve told me nothing is wrong. Well BOOM! yes, yes there is. And it’s not horrible. But it is something and now I know what to try to do. I guess.

Mom said that even as a baby I had to eat every two hours and then I’d only eat a little bit at a time. Seems I am who I am and always have been.

I hiked last weekend. I hiked this weekend. This weekend I finally wore my big pack on a longer hike with some good, steady inclines.

I got a big backpack!

I got a big backpack!

This is just one wee section of the park we walk on that is a sidewalk. It connects the two trails we take to loop back to the cars. We're not just walking along a sidewalk in the desert you guys. Come on.

This is just one wee section of the park we walk on that is a sidewalk. It connects the two trails we take to loop back to the cars. We’re not just walking along a sidewalk in the desert you guys. Come on.

Hiking with it was good. I noticed a bit more effort having to be exerted going up but that’s to be expected. The main difference was that once I was home and on the couch? I passed the fuck out and napped for about an hour. I rarely to that anymore! And then this morning I was a wee bit stiff/sore. But overall things were good.

I’m planning to go on a hike this coming Saturday that has a really good UP that I’ll also have to turn around and go DOWN while wearing my pack. That’ll be good practice. Apparently some of my group was wondering just when I was going to start wearing my pack on hikes.

Last weekend I went on a hike with one of the girls from our group that wanted to teach me a technique to deal with my anxiety and fear of heights. She’s dating a guy that has hiked with me and he’s experienced my fear and he has expressed concern to various people about my ability to do the North Kaibab trail. So she decided to reach out to me to help me. I told her everything I’ve been doing to prepare and I can incorporate her technique with my tools and it’s all great. I’m gonna be fine. I have my friends that I feel comfy with going with me and despite being afraid on the trails, the only times I’ve quit was when I was with people that didn’t make me feel comfortable. So, I’m not too concerned, really.

I am concerned about all of these people discussing me all over town, though. That makes me feel weird. I know it’s in kindness, but it still makes me feel weird.

Last night I inflated my sleeping pad for the first time and lay on it. It’s better than being flat on the ground! That’s positive spin.

I’ve reintroduced some foods to my diet since being off of the Whole30. Some, I don’t need to eat all of the time if at all. Like black beans, which was a surprise since I’d gotten to where I loved them and ate them all of the time. But having tortillas hasn’t seemed to bother my system. Neither has cheese. But ice cream and me seem to no longer get along at all. Creamer in my coffee, real dairy creamer not fake crap, is going well. And my weight had dropped another two pounds.

But this past week was a bit crazy at work and I had to eat at restaurants a bit too frequently and then I succumbed to my PMS and bought these Oreo type cookies at Whole Foods and I’ve gone crazy eating them this weekend. My weight was a wee bit elevated today but I could also just be bloated. But any cookies that are still in the box tomorrow will go to the office for them to eat.

My stomach has still not totally evened out but it’s much better today. Which is good. I’m gonna eat a bit better this week and see how that goes. Pay really good attention to what works and what doesn’t.

And that, I believe, is as good as this update is gonna get!

Happy Mother’s Day to all the people who identify with the label Mom and love and hugs and gentleness to those that miss their Moms, wish they could be Moms and haven’t been able to make it work, or those that choose not to be Moms and encounter rudeness. Happy Day to you all!