to be the man that knocks on your door

Today I went and hiked 14 miles. Miles and miles. So many miles. And my body hurts.

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This was our last training hike before next Saturday’s National Trail Trek! So, since I just successfully hiked 14 miles I’m pretty sure that I’ll be able to complete the hike next week. I may be all tore up from the floor up before it’s over but I will fucking finish!!

Today’s hike was in a beautiful location in the Sonoran Preserve.

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1-17-15-3And this is how I looked during the hike before I saw the next photo I will post:

Happy, blissful, ignorant face!

Happy, blissful, ignorant face!

Then I got home and people started uploading the photos they took and I saw one with me and I clicked and looked and now I have photographic proof indicating that I am, in fact, fat and am justified in my current state of frustration and what the fuck-titude over it.

I'm not pleased.

I’m not pleased.

I’m just not happy about that at all. I know that I’m stronger and healthier than I’ve ever ever been and I’m so happy with all of my accomplishments, I really am. I’m so proud of myself and I hate that I keep overshadowing all of that good by harping on my weight but when I see shit like this or I try to put on my pants and they don’t fit or I just wanna feel cute or pretty and desirable at all in any way then see this? It just kinda kicks me. I don’t like it.

But, hey, a year ago I couldn’t hike 3 miles without a serious break! So…there’s that and that is HUGE! Huger than I am, even.

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