Stumbling off the track

Wednesday I couldn’t put on a shoe. I went to work with one shoe on and the other foot was just in a sock. Because my foot and my toe were so swollen thanks to the fucking fire ants. It was terrible.

But Thursday it was much improved so I put on a shoe, went to work, and went to gym!

Thursday was also Throwback Thursday on the Instagram and I participated by posting this photo on the PumpUp app:


It’s a good reminder that while I used to be a skinny mini, I was not in shape. I have never been in shape. Well, until now. And I’m likely still not considered in shape but at least I’m working on it. This photo? Is not my goal. My goal is to be in shape and healthy and all of that.

So, I get to the gym on Thursday and my foot is NOT liking being in the gym shoe and it’s making it itch and I’m trying not to scratch it so Tyler decides we’ll go upper body again. But first I do a low key warm up on the treadmill as I watch the news and then I do my shoulder warm ups. And for the first time I worked on the yoga ball without him being there to make sure I didn’t roll off of it. I’m so sturdy on that thing now that I’m kinda thinking about getting one for my house.

Then off we went to the upper body machines!

I did the HS incline chest press. 3 sets, 10 reps, 20lbs. We hadn’t tried this machine in a while but since I’ve been able to do chest presses on the other machines he thought why not. And I did it. While shooing him away from doing the assist.

Then HS lat pull downs. 3 sets, 10 reps. First set with 50lbs. The last two reps with 70lbs.

HS low rows. 3 sets, 10 reps, 50lbs.

Back extensions while holding a 10lb weight. 3 sets. 2, 10 reps. 1, 15 reps.

BM Mach uncle bench. This machine is weird and I hated it and he stepped in to assist and I said “yep, you do that.” Basically I have to push the weigh straight up and I hate that. And this was just 10lbs of weight! But it’s the motion. 3 sets of 10 but he jumped in to assist so I’m not even sure how many I actually just did on my own.

Then off we went to the assisted pull up machine and this is still my main weakness. On the first set it was 120lbs and I did 6 pull ups but he had to assist with 5 of them. The second set was 130lbs and I did 6 and he assisted with, I believe, 2 of them. The third and final set was 140lbs and I did 7 of the them without, I believe, his assistance. Whew. That was hard and I have no shame in the faces that I make and the fact that it makes me want to yell and scream.

Tyler wants me to bring my backpack with me on Tuesday and we’ll start having me do stuff while wearing that. The stairmaster, treadmill, etc. And I told him about an article detailing exercises that assist with backpacking that my friend, Jeff, shared with me and I sent him that to look over, too.

I know I’ve said it a lot but I’m going to say it again. Tyler is absolutely the best trainer that I could have been introduced to. He really is.

I was supposed to go to ballet gym today to the stretch and tone class but I cancelled that. I’m sick and don’t feel like pushing it. My weight is up and I just spend the past three days eating all of the cookies I have so there won’t be cookies in the house. Because that makes sense.

And I enjoy the PumpUp app but I don’t enjoy the PumpUp app. Because I am finding that I am still saying things in my head like “that girl is really thin. why is she worried about working out and eating better?” when I know, logically, that they are getting in shape, getting stronger and healthier. And I think seeing a lot of the really fit girls isn’t motivating to me. It’s discouraging because right now I feel like a fat, frumpy, ugly girl.

Mostly I just kinda think I’m falling into one of my slumps. And I don’t wanna.

To top is all off? I realized I have gained a new thing to be angsty about. Crotch sweat. When my friends were in town we hiked and we encountered a woman with a really wet crotch area and we were all trying to determine if she pissed her pants or if her crotch was just that sweaty. Then at ballet gym I saw a girl with the same thing going on. And now I’m realizing that I get really hot and really sweaty and in the past dudes have commented on how warm the crotch area of my person is and blah blah I won’t get into TMI area right now but it all adds up to me being at the gym trying to sneak peeks at my crotch and butt to ensure they’re not showing signs of wetness because holy shit I do not want that to happen to me dear god please do not let that happen to me.

I’ll finish there. With sweaty crotch. You’re welcome.




2 thoughts on “Stumbling off the track

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