the fatz

Take everything I said Tuesday about my loose yoga pants and throw it all right out the window, OK? Because on Thursday I had another wee temper tantrum. I’m getting good at that.

I didn’t do any stretching or water aerobics on Tuesday or Wednesday. I ran errands and had friends over for dinner. I just, simply, didn’t have time. But I did use the stairs at work because I’ve already noticed that my knees are getting less ouch. I suspect that has something to do with the stretching ballet class. And the water aerobics. Which is all good stuff.

But I went to the gym on Thursday as expected and warmed up on the treadmill for a few minutes. And then we did the shoulder warm ups. Then? I did all new stuff. Or, you know, variations of what I’ve done but with new stuff mixed in to make it more difficult. Moving forward and all of that.

I had to do a low squat then hop up on the step move. So, he lowered the step so the hop was lower, but a medicine ball on the step for me to touch my butt to as I squat and then in one motion I come out of the squat and hop onto the step with my new found light landing. Sometimes that work, sometimes it didn’t. But I’m getting a feel for the concept and that’s progress. As usual, three sets of 10.

Then I had to a low squat to a high step holding a medicine ball. The first set was with a 15lb ball. He felt I was struggling with this so he changed that to a 10lb ball because he wanted me to do a low squat with good form and a shoulder press. That wasn’t happening with the 15lb ball. But the 10lb ball made that possible so he obviously knew what he was doing.

Then I did a stiff legged dumbbell dead lift. Basically what that means is I stood on a step and bent over holding a 15lb weight while keeping my legs stiff. I reach past my toes as much as I can while keeping my legs straight. Three sets of 10.

Then I had to toss a 14lb medicine ball and bounce it off of a high bar and catch it. Three sets of 10.

I did TRX inverted rows. I start out low and then as that gets to be way too hard I step back and finish where I can. 3 sets of 10. 4, 3, and 4 of the low each time.

I did three sets of 15 sits up on the swiss ball. I did this facing a reflective surface. My torso is not slim.

Then he had me do the sit ups on the decline bench and my lower back started doing that pinchy thing and I determined that the fat from my butt and the fat from my back are converging and pinching on top of each other when I do that and then I just got super pissed and kept saying that I’m a fat girl and it was just really kinda ugly. I have bad behavior.

Tyler was very much involved in telling me how much progress I’ve made and to keep up the good work with the stretching and the documenting and the aerobics and did the high five thing and I put on the “yay!” face until I was in the car and then I cried the cry of the fat girl and I hate it.

He updated the shoulder stretching guide with all of the stretches he wants me to do and he used the real names and then put my names in parenthesis so I know what the hell I should be doing. Which is fantastic. Very helpful.

Saturday I went to the store and made very good choices:

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I also bought a rotisserie chicken and stripped it off of the bones and I’ll be eating chicken and fruit all week long.

But, then, I made a second run to the store and this happened:

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And guess what? I’m not even sorry. Those are my two favorite horrible things. And they have merged into one horrible thing. I cannot be expected to just let that pass me by. So I did what I did and I have no regrets. Especially since I know that I can eat two or three a day while skipping a day and that the package will last me a good bit. Because that cantaloupe I have is delicious and I may just wind up eating one a day. Which isn’t likely very good for me either but I can’t help it. It’s summer. The season of cantaloupe! I must eat it. I must.

I did my water aerobics and various stretches all weekend. I’ve been a mostly well behaved person that works out and takes care of her body.

One day I may stop caring about my weight and the soft and wiggley. Or maybe I won’t. It doesn’t matter. I’m getting stronger and all of that.

Meanwhile my budget is not. And I have to go to a dermatologist to check out two spots and an eye doctor which will likely mean glasses and I’m not sure how I’m going to afford all of this and leaning towards not having Tyler in July and that is just not really a good move. So, yeah.

Also? Exercise and vitamins are NOT all that is needed to make one happy. I’m exercising almost daily and I still have a pretty good case of the sad right now. So, suck it people that think depression can be helped with all of the endorphins. Please and thank  you.

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