I have a lot of catching up to do. Let’s get to it!

Sunday, June 1st I woke up and decided that would be the day I’d go sign up for real at the ballet gym. So I put on my best “I belong in the ballet gym” ensemble:


and off to ballet gym I went! I’d signed up for the stretch and tone. They claim that class is:

Stretch and Tone is a 45 minute class is designed to strengthen, tone and stretch your body the way a dancer does. Half of the class will take place at the ballet barre and the other half will take place on the floor. This slow paced, no-impact class will get your body limber and your legs chiseled. This class is also excellent for foot and leg strength. Please bring a mat and a towel for stretching.

I say it’s 45 minutes to an hour of nothing but pain. Good lord. I’m pretty sure my right calf still hurts. Today. As I sit here typing this. Two weeks later. Seriously. Ballet hurts. But I did it and I have 19 more classes to take and that’s great. I should do one this weekend.

I did my training sessions with Tyler on Monday and Wednesday since my friends were coming to town and that kinda threw me off but not too much. But since it has been so long since that occurred I may not be able to fully recap. But here we go!

Monday the 2nd:
I warmed up on the treadmill. This did not fully prepare me for what he was going to have me do. Which was way more cardio than I’ve done thus far. And it’s all hot and they don’t really run the AC much in the gym and good lord the heat can suck my will to live. It’s like I’m the Dread Pirate Roberts in the Pit of Despair.

He started me out doing these TRX step jump squat rows. Basically I squat holding on to the TRX ropes and then I pull/jump up onto a step. Three sets of 10. Not too bad, really.

Then three sets of 10 medicine ball slams with a 15lb ball. SLAM!

This is where I wanted to die…the box jump with burpees while holding a weight stick. And? I had to land on one foot. Alternating. And, really? Come on, man. Burpees suck and my coordination sucks and holy shit I’m now mostly dead. But I managed to get three sets of 10 in. Because there is a big difference in mostly dead and all dead.

Tyler tried his best to get me to do single leg lunges with one leg in the TRX thing. Umm…yeah. Coordination? Not yet living in my body. At one point I started spinning around but never fell and he praised me on my recovery. He’s very silver lining-y. He’s nice like that. So I did a few just to get the feel for it and then said “put a pin in this, we’ll try it again, yes?” And he said “yes!”

Now I’m balancing on the bosu ball and doing squats. Easier every time! Woo!

And then I’m doing bosu ball crunches where I have to alternate the hand to foot. I think this is the move I refer to as “the panda bear.”

I finished off Monday with back extensions. I am going all the way down to the ground and then lifting myself all the way back and there you go. Much improvement.

Wednesday, June 4th:
I warmed up on the treadmill. So much surprise.

Then? I BENCH PRESSED!!! Yep. I did. With good form. And the full three sets of 10. With 40lbs. I was super pumped up that I did that and I bragged to everyone that would listen.

The straight bar bent over rows were easy. First set with a 30lb weight then he upped it to 40lbs for the last two sets of 10.

He made me jog. On the treadmill. First time for 2.5 minutes at 5mph and then for 3.5 minutes at 5mph. It wasn’t as bad as I thought jogging would be.

I continue to hate the ropes. He made me do rope waves. I hate them. I had to wave three times for 20seconds each time. So dumb. So tiring.

Then I did a variety of swiss ball ab stuff. Three sets of 15. Then we worked on making me balance better on the ball by making me lift one leg off the ground. Holy shit. Yeah.

Then my friends arrived and off we went to the ‘con for fun and I ate all of the food and put on some pounds but you know what? Fun and friends is important and I don’t much care.

We did take one walk one evening. And we did an evening of synchronized standing in the pool. That should be an Olympic sport. Because it’s synchronized.

On Monday Jeff, Dave, and I got up before the Sun and went off to hike the Peak. And we went to the top and back down and now they know how lame it will be to hike with me in the Grand Canyon but too bad they’re going. *evil laugh*


10379592_10152430922631578_9029660862165990716_o I almost passed out once we were at the bottom in the parking lot. I suspect it was a mixture of the pain in my knees and the heat. We didn’t get on the mountain early enough and the Sun was in full on heat mode and blasting on my body and I don’t do well with heat. So it totally makes sense that I live in Arizona. Except, really, it does.

I recovered and felt pleased and they enjoyed the hike and are still going to hike with me I think so I call that a success.

Then Tuesday they all left and I was up from 4am and went to work and was exhausted from all of the funs and the almost passing out heat stroke dementia I had at the Peak and went to the gym anyway. Because I am motivated, dedicated, and a bit of a bad ass.

Until I was actually at the gym and then I whined and moaned and got really really pissed when Tyler was trying to make me do these pull ups from the limbo position and I could barely lift myself off the ground and people could see me and I suddenly, for the first time ever, felt super self conscious at the gym and just lay on the ground for a minute trying to not cry and have a ridiculous temper tantrum over it.

I chose to warm up on the elliptical. That’s different.

For some reason the record of Tuesday is missing from my gym log and neither of us know why or can really remember what we did so here is as good as a synopsis as I can put together. After the bullshit pull ups that also included other stuff that I was able to do but it was erased from my memory thanks to my anger over the limbo pull ups we moved over to the pulley machines. I did some tricep stuff and bicep stuff and I think this was all with 40lb weights. And I did crunches with leg extensions while sitting on a weight bench and I did some dips. One quick note about the dips…so much easier now. When he first had me do them I hated them and they hurt my wrists and arms and I was shaky. Now? I can do it. And I can already see how being able to do dips is useful in some real life situations while hiking. Like when I need to sit on my ass and pull myself up some rock due to fear. Yay!

He then indicated he was going to put together some water aerobics and stretching things for me to do every day at home because I have to stop hindering my progress by having sore, stiff, tired muscles.

On Thursday he had that all put together and he gave me the nicest stern talking to I’ve ever received. I have to do these things every day and I have to document them and I have to be serious so we can continue to see more progress at the gym during our sessions together because that’s what his job is and I enjoy seeing the progress. We don’t want to waste our time. So, I will start doing all of this. Because I have to.

So, we used Thursday to show me how to do all of these shoulder stretching exercises that hurt. I could feel my shoulders actually getting warm! And that is the point, I guess. And I also did three sets of 10 TRX rows for good measure. But the shoulder stretching exercises were the theme. As was ouch.

And now we are all caught up. Aren’t we just so pleased.


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