Lazy long weekend

I haven’t taken any walks or anything of that sort. But I did swim laps yesterday. I wound up doing 20. That turned out to be about 15 minutes of laps. I need to get a battery for the clock outside so I can know that I’m actually doing worthwhile lapping.  But 15 minutes of swim laps is better than 0 minutes of swim laps!

I jumped on the scale this morning and my water retention must have stopped because I’m back at the weight I was before my period started. Not too bad. But I’d still like to see that number go down a bit.

However, as I am reminding myself again! I am not doing all of this for my appearance. That will be a nice side effect, sure. But my main goal is my strength, fitness, and health!

When I got out of bed this morning and saw myself in the mirror I started to have that thought “Wow…once I lose that 10 to 15 pounds I am going to LOVE my body….” and then I stopped and said…..”NO! I love my body now. My body is my body no matter what it weighs or how it looks. I love it. It’s mine.” and then I started to go over all of the good things and none of the bad.

*wpid-photogrid_1401116649568.jpg

 What I’m trying to see now, and I do see it after my first viewing, is not that I need to lose some more weight. What I see is that there’s muscle forming under there. Muscle that has not been there before. And maybe only I can see it. And that is fine fine fine. I’m the only one that needs to see it. Because I really don’t want others to judge me based on how I look. I want to be appreciated for my brain, my humor, my wit, the things that matter to me. Then on top of all of that if you also find me attractive, super bonus awesome time. We all want that, really. But it’s not all I want because it’s not all that I am. I am NOT just my appearance. That’s dumb.

So, I’m gonna keep on keeping on. Because I’m doing good things for myself. For my physical and mental health. Which is all very good.

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*This is first thing in the morning belly where I am also engaging my abs. That is simply a disclaimer so I don’t get comments about not being too hard on myself or whatever since people sometimes misconstrue things. First thing in the morning abs with muscles engaged is far different than noontime belly. We all know this. Stopping disclaimer now.

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