Excuses

I haven’t taken an evening walk since Sunday. I was supposed to go on a hike Monday but my friend, Liatt, forgot and didn’t have appropriate shoes with him. Then once I got home I don’t know what my deal was.

Wait…yes, I do. It was my niece’s 10th birthday. I got all sappy over how the time is wooooshing by and I went to the store and bought her favorite cake and I baked a cake. I did not walk. I baked. And ate. A cake.

Tuesday was gym day! Since my knees were feeling good Tyler decided that I needed to kick the leg workouts up a notch. And notched up we did. Ouch.

First I was warming up on the treadmill like I do but then he got over there and determined I was being a lazy ass so he knocked it up to a 15 incline and wow. Cardio. Yeah.

Then over to the leg machine area we went.

I did three sets of low squats. I was impressed with how low. Vast improvement there. Vast. I noted it, Tyler agreed. My form was a bit off so he made me watch myself in the mirror to keep my chest more upright as I squat down instead of squatting over. And I don’t like watching myself in the mirror and I guess that shows and he said “Man, you look so sad when you watch yourself in the mirror.” That statement was far deeper than he likely realizes and just typing it out right now kinda makes me really sad. Seems I have more improvement in the liking myself arena to go…

Then I did 3 sets of 10 body weight squats on the squat machine.

Then I did 4 sets of 25 leg presses where I had to squat it all down and then just push it back up a quarter of an inch or so 25 times then all the way up and hold/rest then repeat. So 100 reps. And I did it. And when I would do the squat down motion he was all “Oh, good flexibility!” and all I could think was “not going me much good to be flexible now!” but I didn’t say that out loud because I know how to be appropriate sometimes. Being flexible when you’re single kinda seems like a waste.

Then leg curls. 15 reps with 40lbs, easy peasy. 10 reps with 45lbs, easy for about 6 or 7 then straining and grunting. Then 10 reps with 50lbs, easy for maybe 5 but I tried to them quicker and I have no idea how I really did.

Then I had do these elevated lunges. My balance is hilarious and he moved during one of my reps and I damn near fell and killed us all! In hindsight I should have went on a Christian Bale style tirade! Dammit! I hate missed opportunities.

Then I did 3 sets of the chest press with 10lbs. No crying! Mostly, I did the whole night with a lot of ridiculous laughter because why be so damn serious? When he sat down to show me how to do this motion he didn’t have any weight on the machine. And then I went to sit down and he was all “woah, woah, woah! I gotta put weight on that thing. I only did it that way so you’d think I’m way strong.”

I told him I’d tell the Internet how strong he is. So I am. Tyler is, like, so strong, you guys. He might be the strongest guy I ever met.

More laughter ensued. More of him accusing me of bashing him on my blog since I haven’t give him the link yet. I don’t know what my damage is.

Then I did some lat pull downs with 50lbs. Because I’m a fucking beast! *flex*

I awkwardly did some dumbbell curl and presses. Another thing that he made me watch me do in the mirror. Because I wasn’t doing the rotation at the top of the press correctly. Because I’m just weird.

In between all of the arm stuff I decided to shake out my arms. And for some reason I bent down a little bit and then just let my arms go limp and then I shook them around and then boom! I’m singing “Yoooooooou…..you got what I neeeeeeeeeed….” in my head and laughing my ass off and then I have to explain that to a dude that may not even be as old as that song is and oh, shit. That’s a real thing.

We ended the session with me doing some decline crunches. I started out super strong. And then I couldn’t get up very high and then I was lower and lower. So, I did one set of 10-ish. More like 5 good ones with a quick decline into crap. Then the last set was 15 and that whole thing was ugly. BUT! I managed to get myself on and off that bench without falling. It’s like getting on a horse kinda and I can do that. If I have a platform and the horse is trained to stand there while some non horse riding person that likes to ride a horse once a year hops on there.

Then I didn’t walk that night because I had a chilli cheese dog on a pretzel bun for lunch, which made Tyler proclaim “Who provided you with that??!?!” because I think secretly he knew it sounded awesome and he wanted to plan his dinner plans for the weekend. And I went out and met a new person over ice cream. Which Tyler knew was the plan and he destroyed the use of my legs and then was all “hope dude’s not a creeper!” and I was all “you will have to live with that if he is.”

So, this session was much better than last Thursday’s because there was no crying and just a lot of laughing and I acknowledged improvement and that’s good, nice things.

I’ve been mostly in a spiral of stupid behavior since I cried at the gym last Thursday. But I’ll stop. I always do.

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