So many steps

I hopped on the scale this morning and saw a lower number! That was a great way to start the day.

However, something about the day just kinda made me grumpy pants. Which is fine, not every day can be yay.

Tyler had texted me over the weekend to see if we could meet at 6 instead of 5:30 and I, naturally, said yes because why not? But there wasn’t anything I needed to do, no errands to run, so I went ahead and went straight to the gym after work and decided I’d walk on the treadmill for a mile. So I did. On an incline. On my own. Which is pretty good.

Then Tyler showed up and brought the pain. Or, I should say, almost brought the vomit.

First he had me to those pull up things on the ropes. I had to walk my legs in further than I had and then pull myself up. I was able to do about six of those unassisted. The next rep I did 7, then moved my feet back. Apparently, that was the right move. He said he’s fine with me moving my feet to finish the rep rather than give up without getting to 10. And I agree. I do not give up!

I also had to do these lateral jump things on a half ball thinger and then front jump things. At first, because I am uncoordinated and unbalanced, I made them harder than they were. But once I got the groove they were OK.

Then he flipped that half ball thinger over and I had to stand on the flat side and balance on it. He was standing on it making it look all easy while he was telling me about it but I knew. I knew it was going to be hard. And it was. Balance is not one of strong suits. YET! But I stood on it. He helped me up, he stood right there in the event I needed to grab him, and I balanced. For a full minute. Three times. Each time I was a bit more balanced than the last. On the second round we started on some squats. Then the last round, more squats. One with a hold. Which hurt. But I did it.

Then I also had to pick that thing up, hold it over my head, squat with it, do a thrust for 10 reps. I really hated this. And because of the grumpy I complained more than I should have. And? I almost vomited. The jumping and the down motion, apparently, makes me need to hurl while I work out. That’s not a good look. But it’ll get better. My body is just acting out because it misses the comfort of the couch.

We finished up by having me do that thing where you hold on to the bar thingies and lift your legs. I bet that description is not helpful. Google just told me that is called a Leg Lift machine. My description was helpful. These things hurt. The ones where I bend my legs are fine. Naturally on the last round I was tired and it hurt but I did it. And I grunt. I’m a gym grunter. It helps. The ones that required me to lift my legs straight out made me want to cry. I didn’t, but damn if I didn’t want to.

And then? It was over! And I was, again, smiling and happy and covered in sweat.

I’m building a foundation here. I’m off the couch, I’m being active, and I’m building up my foundation. And it’s great.

I still sorta get the impression that people don’t really get just how lazy and out of shape I was. But that’s fine. I don’t really need them to. I felt like I did, but I don’t. I know. And I’m doing all of this for me anyway.

I’m getting my shit together. I’m being active. I’m paying off bills. I’m working towards goals.

Depression is no longer a thing I need to worry about. And that? Is the best thing of all.


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