Status Quo

I am finally back to my lowest weight for the year and can now focus on moving forward!

I went to the gym Tuesday and Thursday and walked on the treadmill for my two miles since it’s reached the 100 degree mark here and I don’t want to die. I walk a variety of speeds and inclines to mix it up and yesterday I listened to two episodes of The Mortified Podcast and they were hilarious and made the time go by quickly.

My trainer, former, was there on Tuesday and came over to say hi and I explained that I had no idea what to do in regards to strength training and he said he’d put together some outlines for me. YAY! Tyler is so nice. He was happy to see me back and said “yes, absolutely come in here just for the treadmill and get back on that schedule.” So I did. Go me!

I did my office hallway walk every day this week, with the exception of Wednesday due to work event taking up that time. I feel great. And I feel remotivated. And I’m gonna carry that motivation into next week.

And that’s the boring update on my weight and exercise!

Star Wars

So, I hear today is the 40th anniversary of Star Wars. As I am a nerd I am one with The Force as are a whole slew of my friends. So I’m seeing a lot of remembrances about the first time they saw it and things of that sort.

I was a few months from 5 40 years ago so I doubt I saw it at the movie theatre. I honestly do not remember the first time I saw it. I don’t have recollection of my first time seeing The Empire Strikes Back, either. But The Return of the Jedi, yes. That was in the theatre for sure. Because I remember the Ewoks and I remember my sister loving them. Basically Star Wars is just one of those things that I feel has always just been there in my life and my brain.

But, also, I think, for me, my memories begin and end when they can be paired up with my sister. Which is odd. But it’s the shared memories and experiences that we can sit and talk about that help with remembering them, I believe.

I remember seeing ET, The Goonies, Fox and the Hound, the Indiana Jones movies, etc. But I don’t remember my first time seeing the first two Star Wars movies. And that is a-ok.

And, no, the last two posts haven’t had a single thing to do with how much weight I’ve lost or gained or how many steps I’ve taken or not taken or what I ate or how I meal prepped or how it felt to go back to the gym. Because I’m more interesting than that.

But, since I went there, I am down a pound and a half and aaaaaaaaaaaaaalmost back down to my lowest of the year and that’s feeling pretty great. I’ll talk more about that in officialness tomorrow.

Happy Star Wars whatever. May The Force be with you.

Ruminations

I hear a lot of people talk about getting older or how short life is or things of that sort. They phrase it as jokes, the getting old thing. It’s weird. Why do that?

But recently I have found my mind wandering around the stories of my life. Maybe it’s because this will be my 45th birthday? I have no idea. But what I’ve concluded is that sure, life is short…if you allow it to be.

I’m ONLY going to be 45 this year.

I was 17, almost 18, when I graduated high school.
Since then I was married when I was almost 23 and was married for 12 years.
I went to college. Twice. And earned two different associates degrees.
I worked at my first real job for 14 years. Based on that alone the person that was in charge of going through resumes at my current job wrote “old?” on it.
My marriage ended 10 years ago.
I lived in West Virginia 23 years.
I lived in Virginia 14 years.
I’ve lived in Arizona 8 years.
I’ve been in my new job for 8 years.
In the years since my marriage ended I’ve had 4 relationships of various degrees of seriousness.
In the past 9 years I’ve been to Ireland, Russia, England, Spain, Mexico, Canada, Colorado, California, Oklahoma, DC, Yellowstone, several roads trips around Arizona, and likely other places I’m not thinking of.
My sister became a mom, making me an Aunt, 13 years ago.
I’ve had my friends visit me at least 5 years for ComiCon.
I became a hiker 3 years ago.
I hiked the Grand Canyon 2 years ago.
I met my current guy 2 years ago.

And I’m ONLY 45. That is a whole lot of living in that time. And I have a whole lot more living to do from this point forward.

Life is short, sure. But you can also make it so full that it feels like so many different lifetimes. You can live and focus on being alive and happy and in the moment, even the small moments. My one life has had so many different lifetimes in it and I am amazed and grateful for all of it.

Life is for the living, you guys. Get out there and live it.

Things I Learn About Myself

Last week I had a strong hankerin’ for tacos so I went to the store and I purchased the ingredients for tacos for I am an adult that does what she wants.

Since I am one person that means I had tacos every night for dinner that week for I don’t mind leftovers and I don’t waste food.

I arrived home from work one evening super excited for my last night of taco dinner so I got right on the routine tasks of letting the dogs out (yep, that was me. I let the dogs out. /dad joke), feeding the dogs, changing out of my work clothes, and then finally fixin’ the tacos.

As I’m eating my tacos, I get severe chest pains. Like, so severe I couldn’t sit up straight. So severe my eyes watered. So severe I said out loud, to my dogs I guess, “What is happening right now?!?!”

But I kept right on eating my tacos because I’ll be damned if tacos go to waste.

I finally stood up to see if I could stand up straight, and I couldn’t. But I could drink water. I could, of course, eat tacos. I could breathe, but that felt labored. And I could talk. So, I told myself what all moms tell their kids. Even though I’m not a mom and I’m just talking to myself. “It’s just gas.”

So, I chugged some water. I burped. I could stand up straight. I went to the bathroom. It all went away.

So, yes, it was all just gas.

But now we all know that if I do ever find myself having an actual heart attack I may not realize it, care, or stop eating. Especially if it’s tacos.

Moral of the story? I ate tacos and didn’t die so I pretty much win.

Manic Monday

Let’s catch up, shall we? This might take some time. Get a snack.

I went to Spain for a week. The week before I was a bundle of nerves and didn’t walk a lot then I went to Spain and did ALL THE WALKING!

Screenshot_20170507-045403

Then I came home and had all of the jet lag and did none of the walking.

But somehow I managed to hold steady at my lowest weight of the year. GO ME!!

I have no idea how this is possible. Because the week I was in Spain I ate Spanish chorizo every day, Spanish ham, English ham, bread, olive oil, eggs and potatoes, drank Spanish Coke daily, Spanish hot chocolate, many paellas, seafood, and ice cream. The food, you guys. THE FOOD!!! It was amazing. And I’m now that insufferable person that’s angry I have to eat food here and went to Whole Foods yesterday and bought rice imported from Spain, olive oil imported from Spain, and a double pan made in Spain so I can make Spanish omelets and paella here at home. I’m the worst.

Spain was great. Just really, really great. I cannot fully put into words how much I enjoyed it. I really enjoyed traveling around the country to visit multiple cities and having a friend/family member with us that is from the area to give us a more local flair was beyond perfect. I feel that I really got toe experience Spain in a much deeper manner than if I’d simply gone there as a tourist. I’m forever thankful to her and her family’s kindness in hosting us.

I’m not posting photos or doing a recap, however. My Flickr stream is linked on the sidebar to the right and if you’d like to, please feel free to visit and go through the Spain album!

Last week, as I said, I was jet lagged like a mofo and it took me until right about Friday to feel normal again. So, I only managed to do my office hallway walk twice last week and I did my neighborhood walk Saturday morning but, for some reason, could not make myself do it yesterday. The temps this week in the evening should be manageable so I should get those walks in AND I should get back to my gymming schedule, too. I won’t hover at this weight for much longer if I don’t get back on the stick, y’all.

So, here is to being back to real life and normal and routine!

Different Drinks, Same Bar

My weight loss has stalled and I have nobody to blame but myself and all of my excuses. Excuses are aplenty around here and I feel like they are legit but, really, if things are important to you, you make the time. And right now expending my nervous energy in ways that aren’t my evening walk seem to be taking priority even though they shouldn’t.

I always get a bit twitchy before a trip. I have no idea why, it’s just what my brain likes to do. I’m twitchy as fuck at the moment. My nerves and emotions are juuuuuuuust under the surface ready to come out at a moment’s notice. Last night that manifested itself physically by making me itchy all over my body which, really, only made me more easily irritated. But I recognized it and I said to everyone in the room, “please back off for a moment while I reset….I’m having an attack of some sort.” And everyone did and I reset and no incident occurred and I am pleased. Other than not being pleased that this is my brain in the first place.

I think my dogs have felt this energy coming before I have. This entire week they have been so much more clingy. They are usually happy simply being on the couch with me. This week, they are both just on me immediately upon sitting down. On top of me and on top of each other and while I suspect they think they are helping, they are not. The constant need to be RIGHT THERE ON ME ALL OF THE TIME is making it worse. But they are just little dogs. How do you explain that to them? Especially when you just really know in your heart that they are trying to help you? There’s a language barrier that sometimes just cannot be bridged there. So, I let them be on me and I breathe and I feel their hearts beat and I feel them breathe and I calm down eventually. Once I just let it.

I wish I could get to the “just let it” part in all areas so much quicker. My life would be easier more often if I could.

So, my weight loss has stalled while I deal with my pre-trip nerves and my goal is now to just make sure I don’t go up. I can do that. That seems less stressful to me at the moment.

I envy people that are able to just be.

Moving Right Along

back on track

The only day I didn’t come close to the goal was Saturday. And I was so damn close on Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday that I should be ashamed of myself for not getting there. But I am not because I am too busy being happy that I was, mostly, back on track and that I’m only up half a pound.

This week I plan to eat salads for lunch and have small dinners to hopefully shed a bit more than the usual in a week to set myself up nicely for my vacation. Vacation is good for walking but, also, bad for just eating what you want. Which I shall. For I’ll be in Spain and you do not go to Spain and say no to the food.

My frame of mind is pretty good other than the new info that I may have to put on a swim suit in public but whatever. That won’t kill me.

And that’s your Monday update.